Camping in the Forest of Dean
by idreamofdraco
Summary: Ginny, Draco, Harry, and Luna get dragged into going camping in the Forest of Dean with Ron and Hermione. What will they do without magic? How do you find a Crumple-Horned Snorkack? And where did Malfoy get that chicken? DM/GW. EWE.
1. Chapter 1

_January 29, 2009  
Disclaimer: Blanket for whole story. Harry Potter and all related characters, settings, and terminology belong to J.K. Rowling. I never have and never will take money for writing this story.  
A/N: Thanks SO much to Lyndsie Fenele and FreeDaChickens for beta-ing! Review if you like it!_

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**Chapter One**

"This is your idea of an extended vacation, Ron?" Ginny huffed in irritation. No one in their company had to listen to her words to know how put out she was. They only had to watch her stomp around in her hiking boots with such force, they'd have thought the ground had offended her.

Of the party of six, only two people housed pleasant smiles on their faces. The rest scowled murderously, Ginny acting as the spokesperson of their collected annoyance.

Hermione led the group, happily elucidating for her uninterested friends the wonderful nature of the Great Outdoors. Her voice was laced with awe and reverence for the life around them. Luna glanced around curiously every now and then, oftentimes wandering away from the group to study a set of tracks or some animal droppings with a serious look on her face. She usually rejoined them with a determined smile, her eyes wider and glassier than they had been a few minutes previously.

The final three occupants of the company were male and trudged behind their oblivious leader with an air of reluctance laced with disagreeability.

It was clear that very few of them had willingly joined the group. In fact, those same few people had all been coerced into tagging along.

Ron fell back with Ginny and lowered his voice to avoid his wife overhearing.

"I told you, Ginny! I'm sorry! I only wanted Harry to come but he wouldn't come without Malfoy, and _he_ insisted that you were subjected to the same torture!"

"Excuse me, Ron?" Hermione snapped, obviously having heard the siblings' grumbling.

"What? I said adventure!" he covered, running back to Hermione to placate her.

Ginny sighed. Hermione had thought it would be a brilliant idea to go on an extended camping trip — a _Muggle_-style camping trip — to strengthen the bonds of marriage between her and Ron. Ron had seen no need for it, but as she would not back down, he had begged Harry to go with them, hoping his presence would deter her from forcing him to talk about _feelings_.

Then Ron had had to track down Malfoy to convince him to go along too—Harry's idea, certainly not Ron's—and then Ginny, who had asked for Luna's company on the trip. She certainly didn't want to be trapped alone in the woods with her brother and his wife, her ex-boyfriend, and a man she had never liked simply on principle! She would probably have gone insane if not for Luna.

Hermione had been displeased by Ron's unauthorized invitations at first—clearly having Harry or anyone else along had not been part of her plan—but the idea grew on her, until she had convinced herself that camping would be more fun with friends.

Fortunately for everyone involved (depending on who was asked) Luna had readily agreed on the grounds that she'd been meaning to go camping for a while now in search of the ever-elusive Crumple-Horned Snorkack.

And here they all were trekking through some part of the Forest of Dean with massive packs attached to their breaking backs in the middle of the fall. Water frequently dripped from the leaves of the trees above them, splashing on their heads as they exhaled crystallized air.

It was too bloody cold and wet to be camping.

"This is exhilarating, isn't it?" Luna suddenly exclaimed. She didn't notice when Harry, Ginny, and Malfoy all sent her disgusted looks, none of them in any mood for her sudden exclamations. "Did you see all the Crumple-Horned Snorkack droppings we passed? And the burrows they created. I'm certain we'll find one here. Daddy will finally be able to publish its picture in his magazine!" She beamed brightly at the prospect.

"Who invited Loony again?" Malfoy sneered as he rolled his eyes. Ginny scowled at him while Harry glanced at her. "Hey, Loony, I think I saw a Skumple-Corned Horcack back there." He jerked his thumb over his shoulder in a general direction behind them.

If it was possible, Luna's face brightened even more. "Really? Where?"

"Drowning in that river about twelve miles back. Maybe you should join it."

When she realized she had been insulted, Luna's face fell into an uncharacteristic expression of indignation. In retaliation, she stalked ahead to Hermione's side. Distracted from scolding Ron, Hermione looked behind her and saw Ginny, Malfoy, and Harry lagging behind.

"Hurry up, you guys! We're nearly to the clearing!"

As they picked up their pace—barely—Ginny glowered at the mostly unwelcome blond companion.

"That was completely unnecessary, Malfoy. You have no right to speak to Luna that way!"

He shrugged and then smirked. "What are _you_ going to do about it?"

Ginny couldn't help but feel there was a threat hidden somewhere in the question. She narrowed her gaze at him. "I'll hex you the next time I hear it."

Malfoy laughed derisively and shoved past her. "With what wand?" he called over his shoulder. Ginny grimaced at his words.

Much too early that morning, they had all met at Ron and Hermione's house, where she had confiscated their wands and issued uniform pairs of hiking boots to all.

"Let's have a fun, magic-free time!" she had said.

"It's no fun if there's no magic," Malfoy had muttered under his breath, but Ginny had heard him and agreed.

Hermione was now carrying all of their wands with her. If any of them had known how serious she was about roughing it the way that the Muggles did it, they would have all packed better.

Each of them had a gigantic pack strapped to their backs, but despite their size, they had been unable to hold much of anything. Ron had stuffed his bag full of Pumpkin Pasties, chocolate frogs and various other sweets, and, his favourite, Mrs. Weasley's meat pies. Hermione had completely emptied out the bag and replaced the food with a tent, a canteen, and a variety of strange Muggle foods like dried beef strips called "churky" or whatever it was Hermione had said. There were also packages of blocks of stuff called freeze-dried ice cream, which was neither ice cream nor frozen.

Ginny had wanted to take pity on him and carry the food herself but her bag was filled with essentials – extra clothing, towels, soap, toothpaste, and toilet paper. Ron had somehow convinced Luna to carry the food along with the tent she was going to share with Ginny and several strange objects she swore would help them all have a friendlier and more enjoyable trip ("This one will collect happy auras from the creatures and plants of the forest and transfer them to the nearest black hole of negative energy. I think Ron needs it most, don't you?").

Since Malfoy, Luna, and Ginny had never visited the Forest of Dean before, Harry, Ron, and Hermione had had to carry them there via Side-Along Apparition. They'd been hiking for five hours since they'd landed in the clearing. From the strange expression on her brother and his best friends' faces, Ginny could tell that the spot they had appeared in had not brought back fond memories for any of them. Hermione had seemed determined to lead them as far away from _that_ clearing as possible—hence their morning-long journey to this point.

They emerged into a less dense part of the forest. Hermione had already thrown her pack onto the ground and was rummaging through it when Malfoy, Harry, and Ginny reached her.

"This spot should do," she said when she saw her friends approaching.

"You think?" Malfoy said sarcastically. "Maybe we should walk twenty _more_ miles. You never know if there will be one place better farther on!"

Everyone ignored him.

"Let's set up camp!" Hermione said as if she hadn't heard him at all.

Ron was removing the pieces of his tent from his bag, staring at each one in horror.

"_No_ magic?" he whimpered.

"Don't worry, Ron! My uncle took me camping almost every summer when I was a little girl. I know how to assemble a tent," Hermione assured him, smiling benignly despite his fears—or possibly because of the expression on his face.

Ginny stared in consternation at her own tent, which Luna had just removed from her bag. The only camping Ginny had ever done had been the night they had spent at the Quidditch World Cup the summer before her third year of school. But those tents had been magical. They assembled themselves and were enchanted to have enough room inside to fit a small house. She knew better than to expect such a convenience from a Muggle tent.

"You wouldn't know how to work this thing, would you?" Ginny asked Luna without much hope.

"Of course! Daddy takes me camping frequently to look for various creatures to feature in his magazine."

Heartened by this, Ginny followed Luna's instructions and in less than ten minutes their tent stood erected and proud in front of them.

Hermione looked up from her own finished tent and said, "Oh good! You're done. Ron and I are going to go collect firewood." Her sudden blush revealed that collecting firewood was not the only thing they were planning to do. "Maybe you guys can help Harry and Malfoy."

Ginny searched the area around them and quickly spotted Harry wrestling with tent poles, scowling and huffing. Malfoy stood off to the side with a cross look on his face, as if he knew Harry was doing it all wrong and wanted to say something about it, but he took no part in putting up the tent himself.

"Oh, we'll help," Luna said happily. Ginny wasn't as excited to help as Luna was, but she grudgingly lent her labour to the cause.

"Great! We will see you guys later this evening!" Hermione bounded away, Ron close on her heels with a sack in one hand.

"You have to help too, Malfoy. Harry can't do it all alone," Luna said.

Malfoy sighed in exasperation, uncrossed his arms, and rolled his eyes but went to stand next to Harry, keeping some distance between them.

"You mean there are some things the Chosen One _can't _do?" he asked sardonically. Harry smiled. He didn't seem to take offense like Ginny would have.

Luna told them what to do to set up the tent and they followed her directions carefully, with lots of snide and sarcastic remarks from Malfoy. Ginny wasn't sure but it seemed as if they were putting their tent up differently than the way she and Luna had put up theirs.

"What about these?" Malfoy asked as he held up four plastic stakes that were supposed to keep the tent anchored into the ground.

Luna considered them for a moment and then replied, "You don't need them. You can throw them out if you want." Ginny gave her a shrewd look but didn't say anything. Luna was the tent-building expert, not her.

"There, then! We're done," Harry said proudly as he surveyed his work. "Great job, Draco. I can't believe you actually helped!"

"That's Malfoy to you, Potter," he said, looking peeved by his familiarity.

Ginny rolled her eyes. He really had done nothing more than hand Harry pieces of the tent. He hadn't actually helped much at all.

Harry unrolled his sleeping bag and laid it out inside the tent. When he had his back turned, Ginny saw Malfoy throw the stakes underneath Harry's sleeping bag. She frowned at him, but he ignored her.

"Now that we're all set up, why don't we go exploring! We need to find a source of water anyway or we'll all dehydrate and die," Luna suggested blithely.

"_More_ walking?" Ginny groaned at the same time that Malfoy said, "I'll stay here."

She changed her mind then, not wanting to be left alone in camp with the git. "Never mind, I'll go!"

Even though her feet felt like they were going to fall off from their five hour hike that morning and her stomach was yelling at her to feed it, Ginny followed Harry and Luna as they entered a thicker part of the woods on the north side of the camp. She kept her grumbling to herself this time since no one had really forced her to come, but she decided that Malfoy was as good a person to blame as anyone. If he had gone on the exploration instead, she could have stayed at camp and nursed her poor abused feet back to health. She just didn't want to deal with him and his mockery after such a trying morning.

Luna hummed to herself, lost in her own little world, gliding easily through the forest as if there weren't any trees, bushes, or exposed roots and branches to move around or trip over. Harry and Ginny had a much more difficult time of it.

"Look!" Luna exclaimed as she pointed at a bush remarkably full of purple berries at this time of the year. "The Crumple-Horned Snorkack would eat these!" She bent over to study the shrub carefully, petting leaves and pulling out twigs for further inspection.

"Are these berries poisonous?" Ginny asked. She may have doubted Luna on whether or not the Crumple-Horned Snorkack existed but she did not doubt Luna's knowledge about the outdoors. Not too much, anyway.

Since they had left Hogwarts five years ago, Luna had worked as a wildlife researcher, often working with great minds such as Newt Scamander, author of _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them_, and his grandson Rolf, a budding naturalist as well. Luna's work focused on finding rare and nearly extinct creatures that no one had any proof existed. Because of the almost mythical nature of the creatures she sought, there wasn't enough evidence to prove that any of them existed, so Luna wrote field guides (which really were helpful to the average hiker and camper) to make a living.

Needless to say, she hadn't been able to prove that any of her endeavours existed, but the half-evidence she collected was all published in the Quibbler.

"No, of course not! This breed of berry is very similar to the kind that the Crumple-Horned Snorkack eats in its native Scandinavia. _Those_ berries aren't poisonous either."

"Scandinavia? Why would you look for one in England then?" Harry asked, just as curious as Ginny.

"A while back, I uncovered a nefarious secret plot to introduce the Crumple-Horned Snorkack to Great Britain to try to unbalance the ecosystem and eventually take over the island, but the nefarious plotter only managed to bring one Crumple-Horned Snorkack here. The Forest of Dean was the last place that it was rumoured to be sighted. Can you imagine how excited I was when Ronald asked me to go camping with all of you here?" She smiled widely at the berry bush in front of her, so she didn't notice when Harry and Ginny mimed a groan and covered their faces with their hands. They had been dragged into this camping trip only because Luna had agreed to go.

"Let's tally ho, then!" she said. There was a more pronounced bounce in her step as they started off again. As Ginny passed the bush, she surreptitiously pulled as many berries off of its branches as she could and stuffed them into her mouth, and then pulled some more and stuffed those in right after. Harry and Luna didn't notice her lagging behind—or they paid no attention to it because she had lagged and complained all that morning. Her stomach growled at her, unsatisfied with her meagre offering.

They walked. And they walked. And they walked some more. Sometimes Ginny tripped, but mostly, they walked. Her brain was numb and empty from all of the walking. She couldn't even appreciate the beauty of the nature that surrounded them because she was so hungry and exhausted and annoyed _because_ she was hungry and exhausted.

Luna was an indecisive leader, stopping every once in a while to lick her finger and raise it in the air or study the bark of a tree and its protruding roots. The result of this was invariably a turn in the completely opposite direction. Harry and Ginny had no idea what she gained from such procedures, but they followed her nonetheless.

But really, they had nowhere else to go because they had no idea how to get back to the camp on their own.

After what felt like ages—but really had only been an hour when Ginny asked Harry for the time—they emerged into another wide clearing dominated by a beautiful, wonderful, splendiferous blue river that that ran into a large and equally beautiful, wonderful, splendiferous blue lake. Ginny fell to her knees at the edge of the river and stuck her face to the water, lapping at it happily, though regretting it a moment later because her stomach refused such insufficient nutriment and growled angrily. She clutched her stomach and moaned as if in pain.

She couldn't help but think how glad she was that Malfoy had decided not to come with them. He'd have mocked her to China and back.

"Alright there, Ginny?" Harry asked in concern, patting her back delicately.

"I'm fine," she grumbled. "I'm just so_ hungry_."

"Oh, well why didn't you say anything earlier? I brought some of your mum's meat pies," Luna said, removing a fabric bag from her shoulder and pulling out one of Mrs. Weasley's beautiful, wonderful, and splendiferously delicious meat pies. Ginny could smell the cold pie from the ground. Her stomach protested loudly about food being withheld from it.

They sat down next to the river and ate the pies cold. They would have tasted better hot and fresh from the oven, but Ginny's stomach wasn't picky and neither was she. Her starvation made it taste like the most mouth-watering meal of her life. She didn't feel guilty that they had eaten most of the pies and Ron hadn't even had the chance to taste one yet.

"Well, I'm going to have a look around, see if I can find some tracks or something. This seems like the perfect place for a Crumple-Horned Snorkack to get a drink." Luna jumped up and took off into the woods skipping. Ginny didn't think it was just her imagination that the atmosphere had turned awkward between her and Harry now that Luna was gone.

She scrambled for something to say and tried to make it sound casual. "So, why did you tell Ron you wouldn't go camping unless Malfoy agreed to go?"

Now that they had something to talk about, Harry seemed to relax more.

"Mostly because I thought Malfoy _wouldn't_ agree to go and then I wouldn't have to go either. But also because I think it's good for him."

"You think camping is good for him?" Ginny repeated sceptically.

"Yeah. Well, more that being around all of us would be good for him. I didn't think he would drag you into it though," Harry mused.

"But _why_ would being around us be good for him?"

Harry shrugged. "I just think he doesn't get as much credit as he deserves. I know there's goodness in him. I've seen it. He isn't inherently evil; he's just been surrounded by people who are and other people think that he is. If he was around nicer people, people with goodness in them, then maybe the real Malfoy will come out of hiding."

Ginny eyed him, unconvinced by his reasoning. "Well, I'll believe that when _I_ see it."

Harry eyed her sadly, as if she had just severely disappointed him. His stare made her uncomfortable. It was as though she had done something wrong, but she couldn't figure out what it was.

"What?" she cried when she couldn't take the look in his eyes any longer.

"I was just thinking about Professor Snape."

She sighed as if speaking to a child who didn't understand a simple and much repeated concept. "Harry, this is exactly the same thing! No one believed that Snape was good, that he was ultimately on our side, until _you_ revealed the truth, and he was dead by the time his name was cleared. Everyone is always kinder to the memories of the dead rather than the living. _You_ didn't even think he was on our side until you had proof!"

"Yes, but there was more than enough proof before he died, but everyone was too blind to see it. I've learned from my mistakes concerning Professor Snape, and I'm trying to make up for it now with Draco. Professor Dumbledore believed he could be a good person, so why don't we just give him the chance to try?"

"It sounds like we're discussing a child. I doubt Malfoy would appreciate it," Ginny said dismissively, her way of trying to end the conversation.

The sadly disappointed look reappeared on Harry's face, but Ginny purposefully looked away from him and ignored it.

Luna broke the tense silence by skipping back to the lake shore with all kinds of flowers and twigs in her hair like some sort of ill-formed wreath crown. She saw both Harry and Ginny eyeing her headdress and lifted a hand to pat it gently.

"Do you like it? This is the best combination of plants I could find to create a Seeker's Circlet." At their blank looks she added, "You know what that is, don't you? The Seeker's Circlet?" They remained politely unresponsive. "It's a tiara that helps someone find what they are searching for." Before either of them could say anything in response, she gazed at the lake and said dreamily, "It's pretty isn't it?"

Ginny turned her eyes to the lake too. Now that she had eaten and had the chance to rest her ill-treated feet, she felt much more congenial to nature and could focus more of her attention to it. Unconcealed by leafy orange trees, the sun glittered and sparkled on the lake as the river joined it, gurgling quietly. The silence of the forest was only broken by the singsong chirping of birds and the rustling of creatures in leaves. It was a bit after noon now and the warmth of the day was concentrated on their cold bodies. The chill of the wind was overpowered by the sun's heat, the atmosphere of the forest tranquil and peaceful. Ginny felt that if the kind of magic she could do had never existed, then this forest surely would have a magic of its own.

"Yeah, it is," Ginny agreed. They were silent for several moments until a loud yell pierced the stillness of the scene and made all three of them jump to their feet.

"What was that?" Harry asked.

Ginny chuckled nervously. "Maybe it was Malfoy."

Harry took off running in the direction of the scream, followed closely by Luna. Ginny very well wasn't going to be left alone in the woods after hearing such a thing and ran to catch up with her friends. She burst through the space between two trees and stopped in her tracks, gaping in astonishment. They were standing in the clearing of their campsite.

It had taken them an hour or more to find the lake in the first place, and if they had only left the campsite from a southwest direction rather than a northern one, they would have found it within half a mile of their starting point.

The sounds of yells and struggling greeted her when she stopped next to her friends between the tent she shared with Luna and the one Hermione shared with Ron. Across from them, Harry and Malfoy's tent had collapsed, and it was supposedly Malfoy who was shouting and fighting with the material and poles.

"Draco? You alright?" Harry called uncertainly.

All motion stopped underneath the fallen tent. It seemed as if he had resignedly forfeited the match. Round one's winner: the tent, loser: Malfoy. Harry stepped forward and dragged the material from Malfoy's head so that they could all finally see his flushed face. Ginny giggled at how his hair had become mussed. Blond wings waved at her from the sides and back of his head.

"What happened?" Harry asked.

"What happened? _What happened_?" Malfoy repeated, trying to regain some of his composure, but failing because of his temper. Now that he had an audience he could complain to he could be sufficiently enraged.

"That's what he asked," Ginny said matter-of-factly. Malfoy glared.

"I'll tell you what happened! This thing fell apart! It didn't hold up at all!"

"Well, what were you doing that made it fall apart?" Ginny asked, also matter-of-factly.

"I was just sitting here! Trying to get some sleep, I'll let you know!"

Luna gasped and chimed in excitedly with, "Maybe it was a—!"

Ginny cut her off. "It couldn't have just fallen on your head. Something must have knocked it down."

"There was a bear! _A bear_! What kind of a place have you brought us to?" he cried in agitation.

"Bear? There was a bear _here_?" Harry cried turning his head in every direction so that the bear would not sneak up on him.

Ginny ignored him. "You mean you saw a bear and you panicked," she corrected, clearly not believing there had ever been a bear.

"_No, _Malfoys don't _panic_," he said. "I was sitting in here, right? And then I saw this big shadow." As Ginny raised her eyebrow sceptically and began to smile in amusement, his voice became more impassioned. "I'm telling you it was there! So I tried to run out of the tent, but it fell on me!"

Ginny could not stop the laughter from bubbling up She tried as hard as she could to stifle her giggles, but they fell out of her mouth quite without consent. She could not get control of herself. By this time Malfoy had gotten up off the ground and had one of the tent poles in his hand, glaring murderously at Ginny for laughing at him.

Harry started helping Malfoy with the pieces of the tent, collecting and organizing them so he could see if any of them had been damaged in Malfoy's rampage. Luna strutted right by the two of them and then looked at the spoiled heir with uncharacteristic superciliousness.

Harry and Malfoy had noticed her look and stopped what they were doing, staring after Luna in slack-jawed silence. They correctly interpreted her expression to mean that she had sabotaged their tent, and neither could believe she was capable of such maliciousness.

Pieces collected, they looked at their piled up tent in dismay.

Taking pity on them—and telling herself that she was only doing it because Harry was her friend—Ginny said, "Look, I'll help you try to figure this out as best as I can. I hope you kept those stakes, because you really do need them." Both men jumped, eager to take her directions if it meant they didn't have to sleep outside on the cold ground that night.

Ginny rather liked being the one they had to look to for help, even if they hadn't asked her for it. She was usually just there in the background, too young to participate, not really part of Harry, Ron, and Hermione's group.

So she enjoyed her time with them immensely, helping them figure out how to put the tent up together. She forced Malfoy to help Harry, and got lots of laughs from their rising frustration and antics. It was an all around pleasant time for her.

It was nice to be needed.


	2. Chapter 2

_March 7, 2009  
Disclaimer: See chapter one.  
A/N: Thanks so much to Lyndsie Fenele for betaing and FreeDaChickens for brit-picking! Reviews appreciated!_

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**Chapter Two**

Hours had passed and they were sitting around the campfire they had built, only they hadn't known how to make fire without a wand so really they were sitting around a patch of dirt circled with rocks and filled with twigs they had collected from the forest floor. Harry told them it was about five o' clock and it was getting darker and colder every minute. They shivered around the cold fire site and glared at each other, all except Luna, who was knitting a strange four-armed sweater—("For the Crumple-Horned Snorkack calves I breed when I find two of them!")—and staring at the emerging stars. The Muggle coats that Hermione had lent them were wonderfully cosy but nothing protected their faces or their legs from the inclement weather.

Even Harry, the only one out of the four of them to ever have been associated with Muggles before and the one most likely to know how to build a fire, stared murderously at the two sticks in his hands, which refused to suddenly burst into flame. He had been rubbing them together for the past hour but nothing had resulted from his efforts so far.

"I wish we had a magnifying glass," he said, tossing the sticks on top of the others in the centre of their fire site.

"W-what f-f-for?" Malfoy stuttered, hunched in on himself to try to keep in some of his body heat.

"When you align a magnifying glass with the sun just right, it will concentrate all the heat to a point and begin to burn anything underneath it. Dudley used to burn the fur off of the neighbours' cats that way."

Ginny and Malfoy glared at him. "_Does it look like there's any sun to you_?" they yelled in unison.

"I was just saying! We don't have a magnifying glass anyway!"

Where were Ron and Hermione? They had left more than six hours ago and they hadn't returned yet. It shouldn't take them that long to collect firewood. Ginny and Luna had found plenty of wood in the areas around the campsite, and none of them could fathom what they were doing out there. On the ground. In the cold. Where anyone could just discover them out in the open forest. They were unbelievable.

But to be fair, she doubted that there were any other people camping in the forest anywhere near them. But still… they must have walked for ages to get a safe enough distance that Harry, Luna, Ginny, or Malfoy wouldn't discover them in any state of undress.

Oh the _horror_. Ginny tried to wipe the unbidden image from her mind. She did _not_ need to imagine her brother like that.

Gah! She'd done it again!

"What the hell are you doing, Weasley?"

Ginny looked up to find that all three of them were staring at her as if she were the loony one instead of Luna. She realized she had been hitting herself on the head in the hopes that she could bash away the images of Ron and Hermione from her mind.

"Uh… nothing. Just wondering where Ron and Hermione are, is all! I'm bloody hungry, aren't you?" she said to change the subject.

Of course they were all hungry. They had completely raided the rest of Ron's food and eaten it all, and since they had no fire to warm the pies up with, they'd eaten them cold. Ron wasn't going to be happy when he came back to find that the food he had refused to leave home without was gone and he hadn't even had any portion of it. They would have eaten the strange food Hermione had brought too, but she had taken it with her.

Maybe she thought they would need the food for stamina?

GAH. Ginny shook her head furiously. Get out! Get out! Get out!

But it was hours ago that they had eaten and now here they sat around a pile of sticks encircled by rocks, all of their stomachs growling. Luna had found some kind of root in the forest and munched on that, but no one else was willing to put the thing in his or her mouth when she offered it.

"Hungry, hungry, _hungry_," Ginny moaned, clutching her stomach and rocking back and forth. She took another swig of lake water from her canteen but her stomach cramped and then grumbled loudly. She had forgotten that her stomach did not appreciate being drowned when it was starving.

Malfoy stood up to go to his tent. No one asked him what he was doing; they were wallowing in their hunger. They could hear him rustling around inside before he returned with some sort of object in his hands about the size of a homemade loaf of bread. With butter. Hot from the oven.

He began to unwrap the object, which Ginny could now see was covered in a white linen cloth. He pulled the cloth away to reveal a steaming roasted chicken. A whole chicken. A hot chicken. A wonderful, whole, hot chicken that gave off the most wonderful smell of rosemary and olive oil and garlic and lemon… The scent wafted across the campsite, causing Harry and Luna to raise their heads, alerting them to the presence of food.

"What is that?" Harry asked.

Using a fork and a knife, Malfoy cut a piece of his juicy chicken away and bit into it with relish. He chewed and swallowed enthusiastically—mockingly, Ginny thought—before speaking.

"Roasted chicken a la Home," he said.

Ginny jumped up and stalked over to Malfoy, where she could smell his chicken better, and loomed over them both menacingly. "_Where did you get it?_ No, better yet, why didn't you tell us you had it?"

"I had the house elves at home make it for me for breakfast but I was running late to meet you lot at Weasley's house so I put a warming charm on it and packed it away." He shrugged. "I don't have to tell you what I brought with me." While he was talking, he was carving another beautiful bite from the chicken and slowly raising it to his mouth. Ginny, Harry, and Luna all eyed his fork hungrily—like a dog lazily staring at its owner, waiting for the smallest scrap from the dinner table, his stomach in his eyes. They were almost unaware that they were doing it. When Malfoy put the fork in his mouth and slid it out, they subconsciously opened and closed their own mouths as if they were the ones taking the bite and not him.

Snapping herself out of her insanity, Ginny muttered, "You eat roasted chicken for breakfast?"

Malfoy paused and gave them all an incredulous look. "Doesn't everybody? Well, I suppose I understand why _you_ don't have roasted chicken for breakfast. It would take a hundred chickens to feed your family one meal."

Ginny's face reddened in anger, her outrage growing exponentially. Without thinking, she reached out and plucked the whole chicken from the plate with her two hands and bit down right into the fleshy centre of it. She tore the largest piece that she could from it and handed it back to Malfoy, who had stared at her wordlessly the whole time. She chewed slowly, closing her eyes and tilting her head up to the heavens, possibly in thanks to any deity that existed for the one mouthful of poultry. It was gloriously hot and juicy and had so many familiar flavours besides just chicken. She wanted to chew it forever but her stomach complained loudly that she wasn't sharing. Even after she had fed her stomach the one bite, it complained some more that what she had given it was insufficient. She wanted more and so did her stomach.

"You don't take someone's chicken and put your nasty germs all over it, Weasley! You just don't _do_ that!" Malfoy was saying when she opened her eyes and acknowledged him once again. The chicken was back on the plate and Malfoy was holding it up away from her, his torso turned to protect his meal. He didn't notice Harry and Luna's approach until they flanked Ginny, close enough for him to see the hunger in their eyes too.

"What do you want?" he said, clutching his plate tighter.

"Come on, Malfoy. We shared our pies with you! Why don't you share your chicken?" Harry said.

"Those horrid things? They don't even compare to this chicken. It wouldn't be a fair trade. Besides, I only ate those pies because they were Weasley's. I had already eaten Yorkshire pudding when you started passing the pies out."

"You—had—Yorkshire—pudding—too?" Ginny seethed. Here she was starving, having only eaten cold meat pies, Pumpkin Pasties, and a couple handfuls of Crumple-Horned Snorkack berries all day long, and Malfoy was dining on gourmet cuisine, nearly fresh from the oven!

"Yes, of course," Malfoy said dismissively as he relaxed enough to place the plate back in his lap and begin to start cutting through the leg and thigh of the chicken. "It's not my fault the rest of you didn't think to bring your own food."

Ginny growled and launched herself at Malfoy, trying to wrestle the chicken away from him. Of course she had thought about it, but there was just _no room_ to pack food!

"Stop it! This is _my_ chicken!" Malfoy cried, tugging at the plate between them.

"Let go, Malfoy, and I won't hurt you!" Ginny snarled.

"Let go, Weasley, and maybe I will consider sleeping with you," he returned.

Ginny was so shocked by his words that she let go of the plate and Malfoy flew backwards, the chicken flying off the plate and rolling a few times on the ground.

"Damn it! Look what you did!" he cried, staring at his ruined meal in disgust.

"Your damn chicken isn't worth it! I would never sleep with you, even if you were the last scumbag on Earth!"

"_Why are you yelling?_"

"_Why are you such a prat?"_

While Ginny and Malfoy argued at each other, Harry and Luna attacked the dirt-covered chicken like vultures on carrion. They pecked at clean pieces of meat with their fingers, stuffing whatever they salvaged into their mouths.

"Is this not the most divine thing you've ever eaten?" Luna moaned to Harry. He didn't bother to reply, only nodded and stuffed his mouth.

"What is going on here?" a voice cried in alarm, making everyone freeze in his or her tracks.

They hadn't realized what the scene would have looked like to someone just walking in on it. Ginny and Malfoy were nose to nose, yelling in each other's faces while Malfoy was sprawled out on the ground. A few feet away, Harry and Luna were crouched on the ground around what would have looked like road kill, their eyes wide and fearful as if caught doing something they shouldn't have been doing.

Hermione and Ron had no idea what to make of the scene at all. Hermione's eyes travelled from one person to another, to the cold fire, to the carcass Harry and Luna were hovering over, and didn't know how to make sense of it. She never got the chance to. Ginny jumped up just then and stalked towards her and Ron, a furious fire in her eyes that Hermione recognized as the patented Mrs. Weasley's Deadly Glare.

"_Where_ have you guys _been_ for six hours? We've been waiting and waiting and starving and freezing! _Explain yourselves_!"

Ron immediately started babbling some explanation but Hermione cut him off.

"No, Ron! We don't have to be interrogated about what we've been up to!" Even as she said it, though, she began to blush. Of course they all knew what they had been doing. "If you were so cold, why didn't you start a fire?"

"You took our wands, Weasley, remember?" reminded Malfoy sneeringly as he picked himself up and dusted off his dirty pants. "We don't know how to build a fire!"

"Why didn't you use the matches, then?"

They all paused.

"Matches?" Harry repeated slowly.

Hermione's tone became impatient and wise alecky. "Yes, _matches_. I kept some in Ron's back pack." Harry pulled out Ron's bag from his tent and shuffled through the pockets. "In the side pocket," she informed him. His hand wandered to the correct pocket and pulled out a box of matches, right where they had never looked.

"Oh," Harry said simply.

"Well, where's your firewood, then?" Malfoy cross-examined them. And Ginny, Luna, and Harry realized that he was right. There was no wood in either Hermione or Ron's hands and the bag Hermione had taken with her was flat and seemingly empty.

The couple flushed some more and looked away from their hostile audience.

"Oh, well, we kind of couldn't _possibly_ carry it all back, so we… we…" Hermione began.

"We left it in the woods!" supplied Ron helpfully.

Hermione glared at Ron. "Yes, we left it in the woods."

"Fat lot of good that does us," said Malfoy. "You went out to get us wood and didn't bring any back? Mind telling us what you were doing instead?"

Hermione turned her glare to Malfoy now. "I told you we don't have to tell you what we were doing. It's none of your business."

"I guess I missed that part," he said sarcastically.

"I guess you did." She sniffed and surveyed the scene once again. By this time, Harry and Luna had gotten up off the ground too, although they had ripped chunks of the chicken off and were now munching on the leg or breast they had in their hands. "Do you mind telling us what you did _here_?" she continued, looking curious and annoyed.

Everyone broke out talking at once, creating an unintelligible, confused babble that provided absolutely no information to Hermione or Ron at all. Eventually they worked it all out, organized the confusion, and everyone was in the loop again.

"You ate all my food?" Ron yelled. He snatched the bag from the ground where Harry had dropped it earlier after looking for matches and searched inside of it. "There's nothing left?"

"Well, to be fair, Ron, you actually left all your food with Luna, remember? Because there was no room in your bag," Ginny reasoned.

"That does not give you the right to eat my food!" Ron complained, his voice growing louder the hungrier he became.

"Don't worry about it, Weasley," Malfoy said happily. "She's taking food from everybody. Thinks of no one but herself, she does. I would bet your firstborn child that she would take food from babies, children, and other appallingly cute things like kittens, if she was hungry enough." Ginny gave him a Deadly Glare, which had no effect on him at all. She reeled, unused to the idea that he could brush it off as easily as a piece of lint. The Deadly Glare had never failed to silence anyone it was directed towards, and had the effectiveness of any Silencing spell.

"Don't listen to _him, _Ron. Malfoy's being an even bigger prat than usual and getting on everyone's nerves lately," she retorted, all the while staring in her narrow-eyed fashion at Malfoy's stupid smirk.

Harry walked by to go to his tent, biting into one of the poor, abused chicken's thighs with relish. "Nope. Just your nerves, Ginny."

Ginny growled to herself. Was everyone _trying_ to be insane today?

* * *

After finally eating a decent meal of soup and bread in which everyone had a hot portion and two servings ("Hermione, where do you _carry_ all of this stuff?" Ginny asked as they all cleaned their soup cans and spoons in the lake.), everyone had wandered back to their own tents, full and content and exhausted from sleepiness and fatigue combined. The day had not been kind to them—no, actually, Hermione had not been kind to them—and if she tried to wake any of them up before noon, they all planned to slap her silly.

Ginny lay down in her tent, Luna snoring softly next to her, staring up at the fabric above her. The tent was round and had a flap on top of it that could be unsecured so the occupants could see the sky outside. She stared outside now at the clear, clear sky, the full, bright moon shedding much too much light. She couldn't sleep because of the light. It annoyed her that it was bothering her so purposefully. It certainly seemed to her as if the moon did not want her to sleep at all, but just hung there in the sky to make her suffer.

She loved sleep. She needed it and wanted it so much right now. She wished Sleep would just come lie down next to her and help her drift off into fantabulous dreams. She did not love the moon, nor did it love her. It hid Sleep away, had him caged somewhere so that he and Ginny could not be together like they wanted to be.

Ginny couldn't take it anymore and sat up to reattach the flap to the ceiling of the tent and secure it with the zipper. She flopped back down onto her sleeping bag with a sigh, and curled up inside it, cosy in the warm coat Hermione had loaned her. It was too cold to sleep without it. She wasn't very comfortable in the clothes she had been wearing all day long but it was necessary to keep wearing them for warmth. She had brought her own pyjamas for some reason, but they were too thin to protect her from the chill, and she didn't want to ruin all of the clothes she had brought by wearing them all in layers on the first night. She would have to shower tomorrow but she loathed the idea of undressing in the cold autumn weather just to submerge herself in the icy lake.

Now that the moon was hidden away again, Sleep came to her, sang to her, soothed her into his realms of fantasy. Her mind drifted wherever Sleep prodded it and she ended up picturing the moon again. Stupid moon wouldn't leave her alone, wouldn't let her sleep. She imagined the moon smirking at her and she stuck her tongue out at it, but in the morning she would only remember the action as part of her dreams. He existed only to annoy her, didn't he? Why did he have to be so bright, so shiny? Why did he have to garner so much attention? He didn't deserve anyone's attention. He was too bloody annoying to deserve it, but no one cared because he was the moon! They thought just because he hung in the sky up there, way above everyone else, shining like silver or—or platinum, that he was worthy of their devotion and admiration.

But she knew better! She knew how obnoxious and rude the moon was. He didn't care about anyone other than himself, shining in the sky like that, ruining the sleep of other people—good people! No, she was onto the moon. She wouldn't be fooled by that bright, platinum shine… by those pale grey stars… by that rakish smile and smirk…

They did not fool her at all.

She drifted and she floated and pretty soon Sleep claimed her as his own.

* * *

Ginny awoke the next morning feeling like she had slept on glass and rocks and anything else that any decent person would consider uncomfortable to mash their weight on. Her eyes had a hard time staying open—not that she could have drifted back into sleep with her back killing her the way it was—because the sun poked its needle-like rays into her pupils, making sure she didn't try to close her eyes again. She couldn't fathom from where the sun was coming from. Certainly the tent would have afforded her, at _least_, that much protection? After blinking a few times, her eyes finally adjusted to the light and she found herself staring up at the damn flap that had kept her awake the night before, only this time it was the sun who refused to let her be.

She sat up slowly, her back cramped as she moved so she had to move slow, or otherwise start her day with unbearable and mysterious pain. Luna seemed to have left the tent already. Her sleeping bag was all made up and tidy. The corners met exactly at the corners, all zipped up, flat, and straightened out. Her pillow sat squarely at one end of the sleeping bag just waiting for an exhausted head to fall back onto it. Ginny certainly thought it looked inviting. She wished for nothing more than to go back to sleep, but the pain in her back from the hard, unforgiving ground inspired her to get up and start her day.

Besides, she remembered that she needed a shower, and she felt she needed it even more this morning than last night.

Exiting the tent, she found Hermione crouched in front of the fire in the centre of the campsite, stirring something in a pot that sat on a figure she seemed to have made out of twigs for just that purpose. She looked up when she saw Ginny and glared, though Ginny couldn't for the life of her imagine why.

"Good morning," Hermione greeted tersely.

"Good morning," Ginny reciprocated hesitantly. She stretched her arms over her head, trying to work out the kinks in her back, but unable to do so by herself. What she really needed now but could not afford was a nice massage. She wondered if Hermione might secretly be an expert masseuse along with being an adventurous, camping wild woman. "Where is everyone?"

Hermione glowered at her pot of whatever. "The boys took off for the lake to take baths. Luna ran off somewhere, _skipping, singing,_ and the like." It seemed as if she disapproved of Luna's mode of hiking.

"What's wrong?" Ginny asked, sitting down next to her friend and taking in the tense way she gripped her wooden spoon. As if she was so angry she could snap it in two with less than half a thought.

"I was yelled at four times this morning. I tried to wake Ron up at six, but he got really angry at me and told me to bugger off. Then I tried to wake up you and Luna, but you slept like the dead and didn't wake up. Then I tried Harry and Malfoy, which I was already uncomfortable doing because I don't really know Malfoy well, do I? But both of them threw pillows at my head and Malfoy was reaching for the flashlight next to Harry's head so I left real quick. Then I waited half an hour and went back to your tent but Luna began thrashing a bit and then yelled at me. I think she was dreaming but she says she doesn't remember it. You still wouldn't wake up, and after getting yelled at four times, I thought I would just let you be."

It was funny because Ginny did not remember Luna thrashing or yelling at all and she shared the tiny tent space with the girl. She guessed that she had been exceptionally tired the night before, too tired for anything to waken her but the blindingly annoying sun.

"What are you doing?" Ginny asked.

"Making lunch."

Shrewdly, Ginny guessed, "But not for the others, huh?"

"If they're hungry, they can hunt a bear."

"Are bears in season?" she teased.

Hermione couldn't help but smile. "I don't know."

"Well, that just leaves more for us then!"

"Who said you could have any?"

Ginny stared at her friend in shock. She hadn't known that sleeping in late was a crime. Upon seeing the look on her face, Hermione laughed. "I'm just kidding! Of course you can have some."

Peering into the pot, the red headed girl asked, "So what are you making?"

"Oatmeal," Hermione replied as she continued to stir.

"You got that from the forest?"

"Oh, yes. We have no other food left to our names. It was all eaten yesterday, so I had to scrounge up something from scratch." She sighed dramatically and Ginny had the distinct impression that she was making it up. And then Hermione smiled slyly and glanced at her from the corner of her eye and Ginny gasped in surprise and punched her friend jovially in the arm.

Luna drifted back into the clearing within an hour after Ginny and Hermione had eaten all of the oatmeal and washed their utensils and bowls. She smiled dreamily, though that wasn't uncommon for her, as she sat down next to Ginny around a happily crackling fire that Hermione had built.

"I'm famished. What's for lunch?"

"We had oatmeal," Ginny said, smiling into the fire. Hermione was smirking uncharacteristically next to her, not looking at Luna at all.

"Ooh, that sounds lovely! How much is left?"

"None!" Ginny said with an amount of surprise, as if she were confused as to why Luna was silly enough to believe they'd have left some. "We finished it off."

"You didn't leave any?" Luna asked with a somewhat disappointed expression on her face.

"Nope. Sorry."

Luna stood up and clapped her hands together in front of her. To Ginny and Hermione's enquiring glances she responded, "I'm just warding off negative vibes. The sound vibration of clapping pushes them away, you see."

"Right."

"Well, I'm going to go look for some lunch. It's a good thing the forest is full of berries and roots, or we would all starve!"

As Luna bounded away again, Ginny and Hermione shared a look.

"That was no fun at all. She wasn't even fazed!" Ginny said.

"She isn't fazed by anything, it seems. Well, the boys are the ones I'm the angriest with. Let's see how _they_ like the idea of eating roots and berries."

"And don't forget having to search for them by themselves!"

They laughed at the thought because they both knew that they would not be satisfied with berries or roots for lunch, nor would they appreciate having to—dare they do it?—scrounge up their own lunches, instead of having them already made for them.

The boys came back soon after with wet hair and squeaky-clean bodies. They seemed to be getting along exceptionally well. It boggled Hermione and Ginny's minds that they were smiling and laughing together like old chums. As they watched, Ron even went as far as to punch Malfoy lightly on the arm. He did not scowl and threaten to hex Ron into next week, either, like Ginny expected him to. He smiled widely, showing off all his pearly white teeth.

Ginny was blinded by that smile; she tried to shield her eyes by closing them but she couldn't stop herself from imagining him smiling, and smiling just as he was at that moment and in all sorts of other scenarios. The only problem was that Ginny really could _not_ imagine him smiling so jovially at all, for anything, and she had not believed him capable of it until she witnessed the phenomenon right then. It was a sincere grin, no mockery in it, no smirk, no sneer, no hate, no disgust, no arrogance. He was genuinely amused or pleased about something that her brother had said and he allowed that to show on his face.

Ginny couldn't help but think she wouldn't mind being blinded if she had to be blinded in _this_ way. It was a very nice smile to have, and coming from Malfoy, a rare and precious commodity.

Harry spotted Ginny and Hermione first and waved. "Hey! I hope you made lunch. I'm starving!" he said by way of greeting.

Malfoy's smile dropped quickly upon seeing them. Ginny was reminded strangely of a ball of bread dough dropping from a great height. It retains its shape in the air but falls apart when it lands with a wet _splat_ upon contact with the table or floor, the roundness no longer in tact until someone comes along to roll it again.

"We made lunch an hour ago. You missed it," Hermione replied as she poked at the fire with a stick, conveniently hiding the smirk that was quickly making itself at home on her face.

"Missed it? You knew we were coming back! You didn't save us anything?" said Ron with growing alarm in his voice.

"Yes, well, you should have woken up earlier, shouldn't you? Then you would have bathed earlier, and _then_ you would have been here when lunch was ready. But since you weren't, Ginny and I ate it all." Hermione rubbed her stomach with an innocent expression on her face that did not fool anybody. "I'm full, aren't you, Gin?"

Ginny stretched her arms over her head with a loud groan and then patted her own tummy. "Absolutely stuffed. There was really too much for two people."

"Sorry, boys," Hermione said.

All of their faces drooped like wet laundry, expressing looks of disbelief.

"Well, what are we supposed to do for food?" Malfoy snapped, the first to come out of his stupor.

Ginny smiled a wide, benign smile and fluttered her eyelashes coquettishly. "Why don't you go find that bear you saw yesterday? It shouldn't be too hard for you manly men to hunt a bear, should it?"

Harry and Ron gaped, while Malfoy snarled, "Yeah, we'll get a bear! And we won't share any of it with you! So when you're freezing because you don't have a bear skin blanket, you can't come crying to us! And when you're starving because you don't have any bear meat, we won't share that either! _Stop laughing!_"

Indeed, Hermione and Ginny were laughing so hard they had fallen onto their sides, clutching their stomachs and rolling on the ground. They tried to breathe but only laughed harder and choked and cried because they couldn't breathe and just because Malfoy was being ridiculous and they knew it. He spun around and grabbed Harry and Ron's arms, dragging them along behind him back into the forest, seething with rage and determined by the challenge dealt by the clearly inferior life forms Ron and Harry called wife and friend.

Neither Hermione nor Ginny heard Harry say, "Girls are just _evil_!" as he was pulled dazedly along into the trees. It wasn't until long after the boys had left that either one of them was able to regain some sense of control of herself.


	3. Chapter 3

_July 9, 2011_

___Disclaimer: See chapter one for the general disclaimer. "Wait a minute! I have a plan!" is a line from Potter Puppet Pals, and should be read in the same way as the sketch._

_A/N: Boy, do I have a funny story to tell you! So it just so happens that I uploaded this chapter to the FIA in July of 2009 and forgot to post it here. O_O Another funny story! I was using a MacBook in 2009, so my only copy of the master copy of this story (which includes the next two or three chapters) is saved in a format that I can no longer open, since I don't have Pages anymore. But I do have the next chapter beta-ed in an email somewhere, so there's that, at least. ONE MORE FUNNY STORY! It's been so long since I wrote anything for this story, I'm afraid I might have outgrown it, which is sad because I dearly love it. I just want to warn that even though I'm updating this chapter now, that doesn't mean I'll be updating again very soon. I would very much like to finish this story one day, so there is hope!_

_Also, this chapter was beta-d by Lyndsie Fenele and Brit-picked by FreeDaChickens._

* * *

**Chapter Three**

Luna ambled, skipped, bounded, and danced through the woods. What a lovely little day it was! She stopped at a bush listening to the birds tweeting in the trees above her as she picked a handful of plump red berries and popped them into her mouth. She moved on in her twirling fashion, her feet never seeming to touch the ground. A white rabbit hopped out in front of her from the hollow beneath the exposed roots of a tree. It twitched its nose from side to side as she knelt down to talk to it.

"Hello, bunny!"

Wide red eyes stared off into space. The little creature did not acknowledge Luna's presence except to flick one ear in her direction. Luna held out her hand to the rabbit, offering what was left of the berries she had picked. Its nose twitched again and it hopped closer to her outstretched hand hopefully.

"That's right, bunny." She poured the berries onto the ground and waited for the rabbit to hop closer. It sniffed the food suspiciously but eventually ate. "May I ask you a question?" Luna asked the oblivious creature. "You haven't seen a Crumple-Horned Snorkack around the forest have you?"

The rabbit lifted its head and looked straight at her. Luna stared into its bulbous red eyes silently and waited. As she stared at the bunny, it stared at her. As it stared at her, she stared at it. Suddenly the rabbit launched itself into the air and hopped away, taking long quick jumps to flee faster.

Luna stood up and smiled after her little friend.

* * *

"_Great, Malfoy! _Look what you've done! Just because my sister riles you up all the time! Where the hell are we going to find a bear? How the hell are we going to hunt one without wands?" Ron yelled as soon as they had walked far enough into the forest that the girls couldn't hear them. Harry shook his head at the impossible situation Draco had gotten them into, while the blond man simply paced furiously back and forth, ignoring both of them.

Ron was still ranting. "You can't let her get to you like that, you know! You just have to ignore her, or you'll be doing stupid stuff all the time. Believe me, I know! I lived with her for twenty years! She's too much like Fred and George."

"Like who?" Draco asked, never pausing his pacing.

Ron stared at him incredulously. "_My brothers? _The twins? Ring any bells in that dumb head of yours?"

"Oh, them," Malfoy said and then returned his total attention back to his stride.

Ron gaped disbelievingly at Harry who was trying unsuccessfully to stifle his laughter.

"Hey, Ron, don't worry about it," Harry said through his hand. "Maybe Malfoy has a plan that we don't know about."

Looking hopeful and ecstatic at the same time, the red-haired man said, "Yeah! You got a plan, Malfoy?" Harry and Ron's eyes followed him as he passed them for the tenth time.

"Nope. Do you?"

Ron exploded, his face reddening alarmingly. Harry feared his head might actually burst with anger. _"What do you mean,_ 'Do you'_? I'm not the one who told Ginny we would bring back a bear!"_

Draco stopped pacing and stared at Ron like he had no brain and had just proved it. "That's stupid! Where are we going to find a bear? And how would we catch it? Or kill it for that matter? We don't even have wands! We need to get back at them. They can't make fools out of us!"

Ron stared back at Malfoy with the exact same expression on his face. "Brilliant," he muttered in an incredulous monotone. "How do you plan on doing that?"

"I don't know, Weasley! I'm still thinking!" He continued on his former path, back and forward in front of Harry and Ron. They rolled their eyes at each other, waiting impatiently for something to occur to him.

"Why would you agree to hunt a bear anyway?" Harry asked Draco.

He sighed in exasperation and threw his arms out at his sides. "I don't know! When she starts talking, I just want to… prove her wrong or something! She acts likes she's better than me, and she's not! She isn't better than anyone, but especially not me! So I wanted to show her that I could catch a bear and I wanted her to come to _me _if she wanted something. Just so I could turn her down and put her in her place!"

Harry looked at Ron who wasn't paying much attention because he was seemingly deep in thought. It sounded to him like Malfoy had agreed to find a bear so that he could _impress _Ginny, who was nonplussed by everything he did. But he kept this thought to himself, thinking that the blond man would not appreciate his theory.

"Wait a minute!" Ron suddenly cried, his eyes lighting up and a sly smile appearing on his lips. It looked suspiciously like a smirk. "I've got a plan!"

"Well?" Malfoy prompted.

Ron smiled evilly, generating an image in Malfoy's head of him suddenly snickering and rubbing his hands together manically. "The girls want a bear, do they? Well, let's give them a bear!"

* * *

It was the middle of Day Two and Ginny couldn't believe how undeniably bored she was. What exactly did one _do _on a camping trip? What did camping actually mean? You pitch a small, largely uncomfortable tent, sleep inside it on the ground, and make fires every now and then to sit around. Was that all there was to it? Build fires and stare at them? That's what Ginny was doing, but it was no fun. Hermione sat beside her humming obnoxiously, knitting something lumpy and red. Ginny no longer cared that the bushy-headed woman had deemed her worthy enough to share her oatmeal with her. Now she was so bored she could—she really, really wanted to—strangle her friend. If only to stop the humming. And the boredom.

Ginny had hoped that having Luna along would have made the trip better, to have a buddy that she could hang out with while Ron and Hermione were being all lovey-dovey. She was supposed to be her buffer against Harry and their awkward relationship, which he had previously hinted at wanting to start up again, and Malfoy, whose idiocy Ginny just didn't want to deal with. But Ginny hadn't seen Luna much since they had pitched their tents yesterday morning. She kept running off in search of her mythical creatures, leaving Ginny with Harry's uncomfortably company, Ron's bickering and complaining, Malfoy's complete arse-ness, and Hermione's boring, and sometimes bossy, society.

She wanted to do herself in with a shovel. She bet that if she looked in Hermione's tent, she would probably find one.

Sighing very dramatically for the umpteenth time, Ginny stood up from the ground and glared at the happily crackling fire. Hermione didn't even look up from her knitting. Ginny sighed loudly once more. Hermione kept humming, her fingers rotating and turning her yarn around her needles.

"I'm trying to subtly get your attention!" Ginny cried, as if this was totally obvious and Hermione was a mere dunderheaded child.

"Oh, is that what you were doing? I suppose you were too subtle then!"

"What is the point of camping?" she demanded.

Hermione looked confused. "What do you mean?"

Ginny rolled her eyes and tried very hard not to lose her temper. When her mind or body was not otherwise engaged, the Weasley temper tended to take control of her and use her to lash out at random people about random things. Or maybe her irritation was just a premature case of PMS.

"I _mean_, what are we doing here? What do people _do _when they go camping? What is the point? Aren't you bored?"

"No!" Hermione looked faintly surprised by the notion that she could be bored sitting on the ground in front of a happy, happy fire, knitting in the middle of the Forest of Dean. "I think it is very relaxing being without all the hustle and bustle of everyday life and everyday things. Would you really rather be at the Ministry right now, filing the criminal records of Death Eaters into the vaults?"

Ginny supposed not. No, she _knew _she would rather be doing anything other than going to work. She loathed her job, and still, after five years at it, couldn't remember why she had applied for a job at the Ministry of Magic. After leaving Hogwarts, she had received an offer from the manager of the Holyhead Harpies to try out for the all-women Quidditch team—all thanks, she knew, to Professor Slughorn's Slug Club—but somehow she had not made it to the try outs. She had landed herself as a secretary in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement instead.

"No, I guess I wouldn't," she agreed. "But I don't like sitting around here listlessly either."

"Then don't be listless! Look at Luna. She's got the most spirit and energy of any of us and what has she done all day? Walked around the woods making up evidence about things that don't really exist."

That was true. But Luna generally seemed to live in a different world: her own. Ginny was practical and restless. She needed something to _do_.

"You could go fishing or… well, I've got more knitting things, if you'd like to give that a try!" Hermione said, trying to be helpful but realizing that she was failing, especially as Ginny made a face at the mention of knitting. Even she couldn't come up with anything productive to do.

"Never mind. I guess I'll… go collect firewood."

Hermione's face flushed as Ginny walked off into the woods, but she had already left and never noticed. Not that she wanted to see the flush because it would only serve to bring back all of those nasty images of Hermione and Ron and what they had been doing in the forest for hours yesterday.

Ginny decided that in order to make more time pass by, she would have to draw out this excursion as long as she could. She did not want to waste so much time doing nothing except picking up sticks, but what other alternative was there? She made a list in her head of certain criteria each stick would have to meet in order for her to select it to be part of their bonfire that night. Oh, special sticks. They would only be too lucky to be chosen.

She headed in the general direction of the lake but her eyes were on the ground searching for already loose wood. Spotting a decent-looking piece near the roots of a tree, she paused and picked it up, feeling its heavy weight in her hand. It had been a branch on the tree but it had broken off at some point, she thought, looking up into the boughs of the beast hovering over her. She scanned the branch that she carried with her eyes and then placed it carefully back on the ground. It did not meet her criteria; it was too knobby and gnarled. She stored a memory of where she had found it in the back of her mind, just in case she searched for hours and none of the sticks matched the standard piece of firewood she had dreamed up in her head.

It's not like she was really looking for firewood, anyway, just trying to keep herself busy.

What she really wanted was to bathe. After their long hike the previous morning and the uncomfortable sleep she had received on the ground, she just wished to sit in a scalding tub and soak, possibly nap a little bit as well. The image was there in her head, so close, so delicious that she was drooling over it. Steam rising from the surface of the water like smoke, an abundance of white iridescent bubbles popping, and she sitting in the tub like a queen on her throne, luxuriating in the simple bliss of _hot_. It was the best way to relax the kinks in her back and to cure this new disease she had contracted known as freezing.

But the lake was sure to be frigid at this time of year and she had no wand to even heat the water with. She mused over the fire she had so recently thought of as useless—except to keep her and her friends warm while they sat and did nothing, of course—and a beautiful plan came to her, one in which she would hopefully be able to bathe, and with hot water at that.

Now all she needed was some kind of tub.

Ginny hurried back to the campsite, forgetting about her needless mission to search for firewood. Hermione sat exactly where she had left her, a significant amount more done on her knitting project. Ginny could tell that it was going to be a scarf at least.

"Back so soon?" Hermione asked, looking up from her work. Seeing the determined look in Ginny's eyes, her hands froze over the yarn. "What is it?"

"I'm going to take a bath. You didn't pack a bathtub, did you?"

Looking slightly alarmed, Hermione answered, "A bathtub? Of course not. Why don't you just bathe in the lake?"

Ginny stared at her pointedly. "Would _you _bathe in the lake? It's freezing."

"The boys did…"

"The boys were not clever enough to think of a bathtub. Are you sure you don't have anything I could use as one?"

"Let me check." Hermione carried her knitting over to her tent and dropped it on her sleeping bag, pulling out her pack to rifle through its contents. She took some things out and looked at them for a minute before deciding against them and putting them down. "Here's something that might work," she said, handing Ginny a squished yellow rectangle of some strange material. It was like plastic or rubber.

"What is it?"

"A lifeboat. It's inflatable. I have the pump in here somewhere." Hermione hunted through her stuff again and pulled out a contraption that Ginny definitely did not know how to use.

"Okay then…" Ginny said, staring at the foreign objects. "Why don't you tell me how to use these and then show me how to build a fire one more time?"

* * *

Ron muttered darkly under his breath nasty, nasty curses and hexes that he hoped would suddenly decide to work for him despite his lack of wand. Harry and Malfoy were his targets, but they were oblivious to his mood, or possibly, they could not tell what his mood was for all the mud and leaves on his face. They were not much concerned with the fact that he looked like he had just been tarred and feathered, mostly because they had been the ones to tar and feather him.

"Why do I have to be the bear?" he asked in a complaining, whining voice. "This was my plan!"

"Yes, exactly," Malfoy agreed. "And since it _was _your brilliant plan, you get to play the integral part."

Harry patted Ron's shoulder and then regretted it, immediately wiping the mud off onto a tree trunk.

"You are the largest bloke of the three of us, Ron. You make a slightly more convincing bear," he said.

"Okay, but do I have to wear the ears?" He reached up to his head to feel the ears that he himself had constructed out of two nicely rounded leaves folded over a flexible stick and held together with tree sap, which he wore like a headband.

"Of course you do, Weasley! You made them expecting one of _us_to wear them, and now you get to have the honour."

"Well, if I had known I'd be the one doing the dirty work,"—Malfoy rolled his eyes—"then I would have come up with a better plan," he grumbled.

Malfoy disagreed. "No you wouldn't. You've filled your brilliant plan quota for the year."

They walked on in silence, except for Ron's grumbling, until they neared their camp.

"Do you remember what to do, Weasley?" Malfoy asked.

"Of course I remember what to do! I made up the damn plan, didn't I?" Ron yelled.

"Be quiet! They'll hear you before you even get there!" Malfoy glared at him and then looked around the trunk of a tree to see what was going on in the camp. "Just repeat the plan for me so I know you don't have it wrong." The plan might have been Ron's idea, but Malfoy had adopted it as his own soon enough.

"I stalk into the camp and find Hermione and Ginny and then scare the willies out of them."

"Okay, what about you, Potter?"

"After they start screaming, I'll run in as if trying to warn them about the bear."

"Weasley?"

Ron rolled his eyes and, sounding less than enthused, replied. "Then I'll show up again, roar a bit, and scare the willies out of all three of them."

Malfoy smirked. "Great. Then I'll come in and save the day."

"Why do you get to save the day? It was my plan!"

"Because your sister challenged _me _to get the bear, remember?"

"Hey, Malfoy," Harry interrupted. "Won't they be able to tell he's not a bear though?"

"We'll wait until it gets darker, unless they go into their tents first."

Harry looked doubtful. "I don't think this is going to work."

"Shut up, Potter."

"Hermione is brighter than that, and they are both fighters. If there was a bear, they would get rid of it. I fear for Ron's safety."

_"What?" _Ron cried, ignored by the other two men.

"It's a risk I'm willing to take."

"Well, it doesn't look like anyone is there anyway."

"We'll look around for them."

"You mean I have to wear this all day?"

But Ron and Harry followed Malfoy into the woods, albeit with a measure of reluctance.

* * *

The bathing was not as easy as Ginny had planned it to be. Hermione had ended up coming with her to help her keep a pot of water hot and then pour it into the makeshift tub, which was too shallow to be anything more than a child's swimming pool. Half of Ginny's legs and her bum were nice and toasty, but the rest of her was freezing in the frigid air. She splashed the hot water on herself for relief from the cold but the wind dried it quickly, making her even colder.

"This probably wasn't such a good idea," Hermione said in disapproval as Ginny shivered and clutched her chest. She was hunched over herself trying to keep in the warmth, but it was gone as quickly and freely as water being dumped out of a cup. It left all at once and refused to come back. "It's only the second day. Did you plan on doing this everyday?" she continued.

"Y-y-y-yessss," Ginny answered, unable to elaborate because her teeth were clattering so hard, she thought they were all going to break.

"What if you get sick? I've only got so much over-the-counter medicine," Hermione said as she poured another pot of boiling water over Ginny's head to rinse the drying shampoo suds out of her hair. "And what if you catch something serious? We'd have to take you to the hospital."

"S-s-s-s-s…"

"I know you're sorry! But that doesn't help the fact that you're still in the tub, does it?"

"C-c-ca-ca-n…"

"Fine! I'll help you up."

Hermione grabbed the fluffy robe that Ginny had packed along for camping because of its warmth. It was not the most stylish garment—Mrs. Weasley had made it for her to wear as the weather got colder—but it could keep a snowman warm, it was so toasty. She picked up one of Ginny's towels as well and wrapped it around her shoulders, then grabbed her stiff arms and tried to pull her up. She was so frozen that she wasn't much help, but Hermione finally got her standing. As she stood behind the wet, red-haired witch, she tried to preserve Ginny's dignity by averting her eyes from her naked bum.

Not that it mattered much anyway because at that moment three voices exploded from the trees like canon fire.

"Hermione?"

"Ginny, what are you _doing_?"

"Nice arse, Weasley!"

Both Hermione and Ginny twirled around until they were facing Harry, Malfoy, and a brown glob of mud that must have been Ron. Except for the glob, as far as they could tell, anyway, the boys were ogling Ginny's naked body.

Ginny suddenly regained the ability to speak and screamed, "S-S-S-STOP L-LOOKING! T-TURN YOUR EF-F-FING HEADS A-W-WAY!"

_"Stop looking at my sister!" _Ron yelled and then tackled the leering men to the ground. With them all distracted, Ginny snatched her robe out of Hermione's slack hand and threw it on over her head, piling on her Muggle coat and pants after. She was wrestling with her socks and boots when the boys all stood up again, Harry and Malfoy covered with mud from Ron's body.

"Ron, is that you? What are you _doing_?" Hermione demanded, finally coming out of the shock caused by the sudden events. Once her boots were laced to her feet, Ginny crawled over to the fire Hermione had built to boil water for her bath and huddled near its heat. She wasn't even wearing a proper shirt or a bra, but she would have to wait until later to finish dressing.

"What are _we _doing? What are you doing cavorting with my sister!" the glob of mud yelled, confirming his identity as Ron.

_"Cavorting?"_ Ginny, Harry, and Malfoy recognized this tone as trouble and all three looked away from the couple awkwardly, wishing they were in another place entirely. "I was helping her with a bath so she wouldn't catch pneumonia right away and _die_, Ron!"

"But she's naked! And you were… you were…" Ron stammered. He faltered under the life-threatening glare of his wife.

"Of course she's naked! She was taking a bath! I was helping her get out because she was too cold to do it by herself!"

"I'll help her _do _it," Malfoy muttered, heard by Ginny and earning a disgusted glower from her.

"You wish," she snarled, having to speak up so that he could hear, which unfortunately meant that the rest of them could hear her too.

"Actually, I do." He smirked and she blanched. Ron looked murderously at Malfoy before his wife's strident voice brought his attention back to her.

"I can't believe you, Ron! How could you think I was… I was… _doing something _with your sister of all people! That's disgusting!"

"Hey!" Ginny cried, offended.

"Sorry," she muttered, though she didn't sound sorry at all and really didn't even spare Ginny a glance.

"I—I didn't…"

"If that's what you think of me, then you can sleep with Harry and Malfoy for the rest of this trip!"

"But—but I…!"

Hermione stalked back toward the camp leaving Ron flabbergasted, though no one could tell through his disguise. Ginny stood up and grabbed her clothes, intent on following the woman back to camp, but the boys caught up to her and stopped her.

"What did you think you were doing?" Harry asked her, looking furious. "You can't just prance around the woods—naked!"

Ginny gaped at him and then looked at Malfoy's smirk and Ron's muddy arms crossed over his muddy chest.

"I wasn't _prancing_, Harry. I was bathing, just like you three did this morning! I do not owe you an explanation for my actions. If I want to _prance around _camp naked, then I bloody will!"

"Oh, will you please?" Malfoy said eagerly. Both Ron and Harry aimed punches at him, which he dodged.

"_Ron! _Why are you all covered in mud?" Ginny screamed as if she had just now noticed. The boys stopped attacking one another and stared at her awkwardly. Ron grumbled something that she could not hear.

"What was that?"

"I said, I'm a bear…" he repeated.

Ginny blinked, and then she blinked again.

"A what?"

"He said he was a bear, Weasley!" Malfoy growled, recognizing something on her face that he did not like.

Ginny blinked one more time before it all came together and she doubled over laughing, her ribs aching and her lungs burning. She could not catch her breath.

"It's not that funny!" Ron protested.

"Oh—yes—it—is!" she wheezed, fighting her laughter just to get the words out. "A—a bear? This is the mighty bear you hunted? That's so—pathetic!"

"We weren't going to hunt him, Weasley!" Malfoy said, his hackles raised. "We were just going to scare you and Granger!"

Ginny sobered quickly. "She's Weasley now, remember?" He gave an unconcerned shrug. "And anyway, what's so terrifying about _that_?" She pointed at the moulting form of her brother. The mud was beginning to run, the disguise looking patchy. Maybe he had looked like a bear earlier, but now he just looked like he had recently enjoyed mud wrestling and hadn't managed to wipe all the mud off.

Harry and Ron were inching away from Ginny and Malfoy, trying to sneak back to camp and leave the constantly quarrelling duo to themselves.

"Our plan may have failed, but the alternative was so much better." His smirk was unbearable and the way that he leered at her, his eyes travelling from her feet and lingering on her chest before stopping at her eyes, made her whole body flush hotly.

Feeling flustered by that smirk and his stare, Ginny gaped at him for several seconds before realizing that Harry and Ron had left while she and Malfoy were arguing. Coming to her senses, she stalked after them back to camp and threw over her shoulder, "Well, I hope you enjoyed the view because that was the very last time you'll ever see it!"

He smirked after her appreciatively, watching as her damp hair glittered in the dappled sunlight and bounced with the force of her steps.

"Oh, I certainly hope not," he muttered.

When Ginny had returned to camp, she found that Ron had gone to the lake to wash all the mud off while Hermione removed Ron's sleeping bag from their tent and tossed it carelessly in front of Harry and Malfoy's. Luna sat in front of the fire rocking back and forth as she worked on her Crumple-Horned Snorkack sweater. Ginny decided that Hermione was not going to be pleasant to be around while she and Ron were fighting—not to mention the awkwardness about the fact that their fight was over _her_—and sat next to Luna to warm her hands.

"Your hair looks nice," Luna said.

Slightly wrong footed, Ginny reached up to touch her wet hair and realized that it must look a mess after her disastrous bath. She hadn't even brushed it out yet and she groaned at the thought of trying to brush through the tangles later.

"Thanks, Luna."

"I've got to finish my sweater. I know I'm close to tracking down the Crumple-Horned Snorkack hiding in the forest. It's really rather lucky we pitched tents here, because I'm sure it's around this area somewhere."

"Oh, that's nice," Ginny said, not really listening. Malfoy had just come out of the forest and strode past her, glancing at her briefly, before stepping over Ron's sleeping bag and disappearing into his tent.

Damn, how had she never noticed how shiny his hair was? The light from the sun created a bright halo on his head, which was absurd, of course, because Malfoy was no angel. And he was so pale! Angels weren't… well, she supposed they weren't too pale, were they? And he wasn't attractive at all. Nope. Too pointy. Not attractive. He would poke her eye out with his chin if he ever tried to kiss her.

Not that she wanted him to kiss her, _of course_. She hated Malfoy. He was pure evil. Obviously.

"I don't know if I can wait for a calf to be born. It's taken my whole life just to find this one Crumple-Horned Snorkack, and I haven't even found it yet! So, I'll probably have to make another sweater for the one I find. What colour do you think I should do the next one?"

"Yeah… Totally," Ginny said distractedly, staring hard at the front of Malfoy's tent.

When Ron arrived, now mud-free, he spotted his sleeping bag lying on the ground, growled at it menacingly, and marched to his former tent. The ensuing argument would have been difficult for even a deaf person to block out.

"Do you expect me to sleep on the ground? Where will I sleep?" he yelled.

"It's not my problem, _Ronald_. I don't care what Merlin's left nut you do!"

Ginny and Luna's eyes met. Ron was in big trouble if Hermione had resorted to cursing. It was clear that she wasn't used to it; she couldn't even use a curse properly.

"It's cold outside! What if I catch new-moaning and die?"

"Oh, please! Spare me the dramatics!"

"You care if my sister dies, but not your husband?"

"Your sister hasn't accused me of romping with girls I'm not married to, has she?"

_"OI! Shut your bloody mouths, will you?" _Malfoy yelled from his tent. Ginny frowned disapprovingly.

"Keep that bloody nose in your own damn business, Malfoy!" Ron said in a threatening voice.

"What is going _on_?" Harry asked Ginny. He had just ambled in carrying the inflatable bathtub and the pot Hermione had used to boil water. She thought it was rather nice of him to pick up their mess, and the earlier anger she had harboured towards him about walking in on her naked and participating in a stupid plot instantly cooled.

"Hermione and Ron are arguing. Malfoy's just gotten himself involved."

"It's my damn business when I'm trying to take a mid-afternoon nap, Weasley! Which you are disturbing with your stupid fight!"

Ginny, Luna, and Harry settled themselves in comfortably with their backs to the fire. There was nothing like a fight to relieve the boredom of camping, and it brought them to laughter—stifled by their hands lest the wrath of Hermione turn unto them—to hear the two tents screaming at each other, not a single person in sight.

Ginny was rather happy to have something to do.


End file.
